


The Night is Dark

by ThatOneGayGuy



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Child Abuse, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I dont usually write angst, Nightmares, Past Abuse, Trauma, please don't judge me too hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 06:07:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16969128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatOneGayGuy/pseuds/ThatOneGayGuy
Summary: Percy had lived through a lot, and whenever someone asked he always shrugged it off and said he was fine. But when he's alone he admits to himself how it changed him, how some things haunt him even in his dreams.





	The Night is Dark

Percy had large bags under his eyes, he would drink 6 cups of coffee in the morning and another 4 in the afternoon, he couldn’t pay attention to anything. Everyone constantly told him to sleep and he always nodded his head and told them he would but he never actually did. He was scared of sleeping, every time he would lay down and close his eyes he would be plagued by various scenes, each more horrible than the last, so he had given up on sleep.

At least, that’s what he told himself, but as soon as Will took one look at him he was practically kidnapped and locked in an infirmary room until he slept. Being denied coffee or anything else that could keep him awake he eventually couldn't fight Hypnos' grasp any longer.

He was standing on the edge of Tartarus, Akhlys was kneeling in front of him, the poison all around her, controlled by Percy. Annabeth was yelling at him, he heard her, but he couldn't understand what she was saying. He was too focused on the poison, on Akhlys' tears which he forced into her nose and mouth. He didn't stop. He kept going until nothing was left of her. Until the poison had eaten away at her gnarled body and her screams had died down, nothing left of her to scream. Percy turned to Annabeth and she looked absolutely terrified of him, getting up and running away into the darkness of Tartarus. He looked around him and there stood a mirror, very clear in the otherwise fuzzy landscape. He could not see his reflection. As he walked closer another smell filled his nose, overpowering the smells of Tartarus, the smells of beer and cigarettes. 

When he looked into the mirror his own face wasn't looking back at him, it was smelly Gabe's, that eternal scowl present. He screamed but it wasn't his voice, it was Gabe's. The scene shifted and it was back at their old apartment. Little kid Percy was standing in front of him and he held up his hand, ready to hit him. He sees his hand coming down against his own cheek, he hears himself scolding the younger boy, feels it come out of his mouth as Percy whimpers and tries to get away.

Percy woke up screaming, wanting to claw his own skin open, fearing that his dreams had come true and that he became like Gabe. He was breathing hard and his throat felt very dry and raw, he must have been screaming in his sleep. His head was reeling, he couldn’t end up like Gabe, after years of enduring his hate, his abuse, he has to be better. But he wasn’t, he wasn’t better to any of the monsters he had fought, he had killed them without mercy, without considering how they might have felt.

“I had to, I had no other choice.” He said to himself, hugging his knees to his chest and rocking back and forth. “But what if you did?” a voice somewhere in his head said. “What if you didn’t have to kill them, what if there was another way?” Percy shook his head. “Shut up, you’re wrong, there was no other way. I had to do it like that.” “Liar, you didn’t have to kill them all.” “It was either them or me, I was going to die if I didn’t kill them.” Percy’s head was swimming with thoughts and voices now, none of them were leaving him alone. Pestering him, saying that he should have died instead of them. He gripped his hair and pulled, shouting to try and block them out.

Suddenly there is a hand on his shoulders, and at first he recoils, not wanting to hurt someone else again. But when he is offered a bottle of water he can’t help but accept, downing it in seconds. “There you go, that’s better isn’t it?” a soft voice says, rubbing his back. Percy is too tired to say anything back, trying very hard to fight off the voices. “How long have you been avoiding the nightmares?” the other person, Will Solace, asks. “Months.” “And you didn’t sleep at all in that time?” Percy shook his head. “I tried, but I’m too weak, I would fail eventually. And the nightmares would come.” “What are they about?” “the things that I’ve done, everything I did to the monsters. I try so hard not to be like Gabe, to be a better person, but then I remember everything I’ve done and it’s hard.” Percy feels his chest tighten and his breathing becoming more shallow, and suddenly Will is there hugging him. And he feels even just slightly safer. “You’re not alone in this Percy. We all have nightmares about what we did, Clovis can help you.” 

Percy is looking at the small amulet he got from Clovis, putting it around his neck and laying down in his own bed. For the first time in a long while, he had calm dreams.


End file.
